I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
