So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
