Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
