You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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