Can Purell be used as lube?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
