I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
