He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I need to stop coming to work sober
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize