so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
