Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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