I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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