i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I need a burrito and a hug.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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