Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
