Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
