it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
