Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
