Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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