you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
