These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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