omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
