New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
