So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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