So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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