There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
