my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
