what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
