is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
