I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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