don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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