There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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