no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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