Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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