They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
