Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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