Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
