I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
