HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
