Only a mothe r could love this liver
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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