I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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