Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Michael Bay diarrhea
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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