So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize