This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
