Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
