I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
