Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
