I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We had sex on a dog bed..
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
