Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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