Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
