i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
