Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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