Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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