I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
