apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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