Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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