dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
