Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
