Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
