U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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