I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
smell my finger.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
