just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
