I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize