someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
