i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
