come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
