Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
ugly people sure do ruin things
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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