I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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