whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
