We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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