its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
