Having a random hookup so left but love u
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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