some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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