So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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