i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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