fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What a dumb baby whore.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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